Avoid "Tar Baby" Leaders

Rember the Joel Chandler Harris story of Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby? Brer Fox created what looked like a person out of tar in hopes he could catch Brer Rabbit in it and eat him.

Brer Rabbit comes along, and being the gregarious fellow that he is, gives a friendly “hi” to the Tar Baby. Of course, the Tar Baby doesn’t say “hi” back. After several more attempts to start a friendly relationship with the Tar Baby, Brer Rabbit becomes angry and starts to hit it. This results in Brer Rabbit being hopelessly stuck to the Tar Baby, and Brer Fox easily walks up and captures him for his dinner.

Chronically angry, critical, and unhappy people, especially leaders, are just like the tar baby. You keep thinking that if you are friendly and generous enough, they will reciprocate with a mutually beneficial and enjoyable relationship. You continue to become more frustrated and disappointed that you aren’t succeeding, and you may even start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you that’s causing your efforts to fail.

Sound familiar? This situation is especially frustrating if that person is a leader who has more power than you. They control the rewards in that environment, and you’re “stuck” in the tar of this critical and unhappy world with no easy means of escape.

The solution? Learn to recognize “tar babies” for what they really are: chronically angry, critical, and unhappy people. Keep on walking and don’t get “stuck.”

Choose to be around people, especially leaders, who make you happier rather than unhappier. This becomes even more important if someone is a leader who has power over your life options and rewards. And don’t worry, in the story Brer Rabbit ultimately finds a way to avoid being eaten.

Don’t be a stranger. (770) 993-1129. tdockery@TheResolveFirm.com