A Surefire Way to Make Yourself Unhappy

The whole point of being successful in business is to be happy, right? I mean, seriously, who wants to join the ranks of the rich and unhappy? I know plenty of them, and it’s not where most of us would like to wind up. I help leaders double their revenue regularly, but what’s the point if you’re still not happy?

The research in Positive Psychology tells me there are four major sources of happiness, but let’s focus on the most important one—a caring relationship with yourself. You’re with yourself 24/7, so how you treat yourself has a HUGE impact on your happiness.

One surefire way to treat yourself badly and wind up unhappy is to focus your attention on a) the negative things going on in the world, and b) on things you can’t control. There’s no doubt that there are plenty of painful and infuriating things going on in the world, but if you focus primarily on those things you’re going to be unhappy.

In my book I say, “What movie are you showing yourself?” You have control of what you focus your attention on every day, and this is like showing yourself a movie. Are you showing yourself a tragedy so that you feel sad and depressed, or are you showing yourself a comedy so that you feel uplifted and happy?

No, I’m not advocating being a “Pollyanna” and ignoring anything that’s painful or problems that need solving, but I am advocating choosing where you place your primary focus. In addition to ignoring your physical health, here are a couple of very effective ways to decrease your mental health and make yourself unhappy:

·         Divide all humans into two groups. Then put yourself in one of the groups and fear and hate the other group for being different. Examples: “pure good” vs. “pure evil”, patriot vs. traitor, same religion as me vs. not, same culture as me vs. not.

·         Overconsume the “news”, which very often brings you negative events in the world that you can’t control. This is especially true of media sources that focus on news that promotes anger, divisiveness, and blaming others for your problems instead of seeking win-win solutions to our common human needs.  

Don’t be a stranger. (770) 993-1129. tdockery@TheResolveFirm.com